🏈 Ban Kickers. Again.

The next Elijah Mitchell, Draft THIS Cowboys WR, and 10,000 subs. Thank you.

September 02, 2022

Good morning. Three years ago, my home league made a decision that changed my life forever. We removed kickers. I'll never play in a league with them again. I rarely even talk about them.

Since banning kickers:

  • My hair loss stopped

  • One of our league mates was cast onto a reality TV show

  • I'm appreciating nature

These all just coincidences?? Do yourselves a favor. Ban kickers.

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Yup. 10,000. Seriously, thank you all. You're the reason we write this. Now let's win some titles.

MARKET

Only Davante Adams has averaged more targets per game over the past two seasons than Diontae Johnson. Read on for the other players.

HYPEBEASTS

Saquon: Moving on Up

Noah Brown is the answer to "Who is the Cowboys WR2 in Week 1." Dak Prescott: “Noah’s earned my trust from Day 1, and it’s only gotten greater and greater. You want to find a guy who’s the epitome of being a professional — it’s Noah Brown." HC Mike McCarthy also praised Brown, while admitting Jalen Tolbert has been up and down.

  • "One of my biggest fantasy takeaways from last week’s joint practice: Dak Prescott was peppering Noah Brown with targets."

Parris Campbell "gives early career Keenan Allen vibes from an injury luck standpoint. If he can overcome the foot specifically it might be 🚀". That's a lofty comparison for a guy with less than 40 career receptions...

Darren Waller returned to Raiders practice yesterday. HC Josh McDaniels: “Darren’s good to go. I don’t really know anything about that whole thing, the whole [agent] situation yet. But he’ll be out there today and, excited about moving forward here with our whole group."

  • Irv Smith Jr, expected to be ready for Week 1 after Aug. 1 thumb injury, said he's returned to catching balls over past several days.

  • "Chargers TE Donald Parham Jr. could be in line for a breakout season. He was one of the most productive receivers in training camp.”

Saquon Barkley is a potential league winner. "Scored 21.1 and 29.6 PPR points in Weeks 3 and 4 as the Giants upped his usage. This is an every-down-back that has RB1 overall upside if the doubters are wrong about his explosiveness." More from Dwain:

Per a Harvard-trained sports surgeon: "Zero chance the juice is gone. Can’t guarantee health - esp cuz RBs avg 2 missed games/season - but if he’s healthy it’s Saquon SZN."

"66% of Trey Lance’s rushing attempts were designed runs last year – the 2nd highest rate in the NFL (behind only Cam Newton). After Lamar – there may not be a single starting QB with a higher rushing ceiling."

Speaking of the 49ers:

This News might be Bad News

ESPN's Alaina Getzenberg reported that Bills WR Isaiah McKenzie suffered an undisclosed injury on Saturday and has not practiced since. Jameson Crowder could be starting from the slot to open the season if McKenzie is unable to play.

I think you're drafting Joe Mixon too high. So does Scott Barrett:

With 2/45/0 receiving to close out his season, CeeDee Lamb continues his annual tradition of producing just like Tee Higgins but costing twice as much in dynasty (@AdamHarstad).

Still, CeeDee did have a bad ankle injury in practice where Amari said he was proud of him for playing in their next game because “(Ceedee) could barely walk”. He didn’t play well after that the rest of the season (10.6 FPG).

THEM ROOKIES

Rookie of the Day: Meet Jordan Mason

49ers beat writers can't get enough of RB Jordan Mason. “If you didn’t know any better, you would think that Mason was the best running back on the team. Whenever Mason touches the ball, it’s like, ‘Woah.’"

"Elijah Mitchell was my favorite running back last year in training camp. That title goes to Mason so far this offseason.”

49ers HC Kyle Shanahan: "We didn't really expect for [Mason] to be where he is at. We thought we'd be able to keep four backs and keep him on [the] practice squad. But the way he turned it on at the end of camp and practice, and then what he showed in those preseason games, we really felt we were going to lose him. And we actually know we were going to."

QUICK SLANTS

  • The day after I drop him for Jeff Wilson, Eno Benjamin secured the Cardinals' No. 2 running back job. Still betting they use a committee if James Conner goes down.

  • Jaylen Waddle sounds incredibly likely to be ready for Week 1.

  • Eagles claimed RB Trey Sermon off waivers from the 49ers, which was the best-case-scenario for Sermon.

  • ETR's latest article on beating large-field GPPs and how to win the Milly-Maker.

  • Russell Wilson secured the bag, with a $245 million extension yesterday.

Tweet of the Day

Kenny Golladay "has been running routes this summer with the stiffness of a mannequin." Imagine being that bad at your job and still making $17 million…

Giveaways are on their way - if you’ve referred someone keep an eye out!

- Jake, Eddie, Matt & Coach Wehler.

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